Not everyone delights in all the festivities and joy of the holiday season. People from all walks of life and in all sorts of situations feel depressed, sad or out of it during the holidays. If you have the holiday blues, the following tips may help lift your spirits.

1. Relax. Take time out of your hectic holiday schedule to pamper yourself.  Everyone needs to remember to be nice to themselves. You should treat yourself to something you like and do things you like to do, even if it’s just going to the movies.

2. Plan and prioritize. Don’t plan more than you can accomplish comfortably. Develop a calendar of specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other events. You’ve got to plan, but don’t wait until the last minute or you’re going to feel overwhelmed.  If you do feel overburdened, share responsibilities with family members or friends. Consider buying pre-made food items instead of baking everything yourself.

3. Set realistic expectations. Holidays can be difficult for people, especially when reality doesn’t measure up to their expectations. People need to realize that the holidays are not going to be perfect.  Also, don’t label the holiday season as a time to cure all past problems.

4. Budget. For many people, the holidays are financially stressful and that can cause the blues or depression.  Know your spending limit and stick to it. Enjoy holiday activities that are free, such as driving around to look at holiday decorations. Go window-shopping without buying anything.  Some professionals suggest that giving less materialistic gifts, such as your time or an item you made yourself, may help your stress level, as well.

5. Don’t force festivity. Feeling down is valuable, it lets you know that something in your life is not working. If you listen to your depression, it may help you make changes in your life. So, embracing the blues is a good thing.  Honor what you are feeling. Don’t force yourself to feel something you’re not.  If you are straddling the fence about something such as going to a party, keep an open mind.  If you’re split about whether to go out, go ahead and try going to a party. You may find that you have a good time.  You can be selective about what you want to do.

6. Be healthful. Never abandon healthy habits and don’t eat and drink more than usual just because it’s the holiday season. Get plenty of sleep and schedule time for exercise.  Avoiding excessive drinking will curb the holiday blues.  Alcohol may make you feel “up” at first, but it’s actually a depressant; too much can make you feel worse.  During the holidays, people are exposed more to things such as alcohol and food.  Some professionals suggest exercising or meditating to deal with fatigue and stress. As a result, you may be more able to resist temptations.

7. Volunteer. Giving of yourself through volunteer efforts is a very effective counterbalance to sadness and depression.  It can give meaning and purpose to holidays that would otherwise seem empty.  Getting involved and helping others can be a great way to lift your spirits and make new acquaintances.

8. Be introspective. Explore why you aren’t in a holiday mood and ask yourself gently what’s going on and if you can pinpoint it.  You might be able to know the specific cause of why you feel depressed or sad. This can help you address any changes you might make in your life. Remind yourself that the holidays and your present circumstances will not last forever, and look forward to the future.

9. Start new traditions. Create for yourself what you didn’t have in the past.  Knowing what caused you to be blue in the past can help you create happier memories in the future by beginning new traditions.  As families change and grow, traditions may need to change as well. With families reuniting during the holidays, parents’ and grown children’s expectations may not match, which may lead to a dip in mood. Allow yourself some time away from your family and set realistic expectations.

Remember that the holiday blues are usually temporary. But if you experience a prolonged depression, see changes in your personality, suffer great physical effects or have thoughts of suicide, contact a mental health professional.

If the holidays are such a time for kids, why is your older one sulking and the younger one sobbing? Could it be a case of overload: There’s so much expectations and stimulation, their little brains could short-circuit.

Children can’t sleep, have shorter tempers, more difficult to control and console, and are more likely to fight with siblings. It is too cold to play outside so they are bouncing off the sofa and not using indoor voices.

Over stimulation and schedule disruption are to blame for the behavioral problems that parents see during the holiday season.

During the holidays kids lose the day-to-day rhythm and they get really excited. Kids love predictability and sameness, even though the holiday is fun and wonderful for them, it can be discombobulating, and most parents do not prepare their kids well for this.

Here is how to make sure this time of Peace On Earth remains just that for your kids:

Pick your battles. Stand firm on the important stuff (manners, sharing) and let the rest slide. If your daughter wants to wear bells on her toes, let her.

Don’t force them to perform for guests. Yes he is adorable when he sings Hallelujah Chorus or My Little Dradill, but back if he does not want

Schedule quiet time. Usually kids act up because they are overtired. Make sure they get breaks from the noise and confusion.

Pave Santa’s way. If your son wants a 10-speed bicycle and there is no way he is getting one, negotiate a second choice.

Plan for the let down. Arrange something fun so that everyone does not get the blues after the last gift is ripped open.

Holiday Depression for Parents

The holiday blues can be caused by many factors: increased stress and fatigue, unrealistic expectations, over-commercialization and the inability to be with one’s extended family. The increased demands of shopping, parties, family reunions and houseguests also contribute to these feelings of tension. Even people who do not become depressed can develop other stress reactions during the holidays, such as headaches, excessive drinking, overeating and difficulty sleeping.

There are several ways to identify potential sources of holiday depression that can help you head off the blues:

Keep expectations for the holiday season manageable by not trying to make the holiday “the best ever.” Set realistic goals for yourself, pace yourself, organize your time, make a list and prioritize the most important activities. Be realistic about what you can and cannot do.

Remember that the holiday season does not automatically banish reasons for feeling sad or lonely. There is room for these feelings to be present, even if you choose not to express them.

Let go of the past. Don’t be disappointed if your holidays are not like they used to be. Life brings changes. Each holiday season is different and can be enjoyed in its own way. Don’t set yourself up for sadness by thinking everything has to be just like the “good old days.” Look towards the future.

Do something for someone else. It is an old remedy, but it can help. Try volunteering some time to help others.

Enjoy holiday activities that are free, such as driving around to look at holiday decorations

Don’t drink too much. Excessive drinking will only make you more depressed.

Don’t be afraid to try something new. Celebrate the holidays in a way you have not done before.

Spend time with people who are supportive and who care about you. Reach out to make new friends if you are alone during special times. Contact someone with whom you have lost touch.

Find time for yourself. Don’t spend all your time providing activities for your family and friends.

So you think you're moving along and adapting to your new split-family living situation. You take your children to their Mom on Tuesday and you'll see them again on Saturday. It is a bumpy cycle and much to be learned, but you're getting the hang of it. Then what do you spy on your calendar as you turn the page? Christmas doesn't fall on Tuesday? It doesn't fall on Saturday, Sunday or Wednesday either. You realize you are going to have to go dig out those divorce papers and see what year it is and if it's odd or even and if you get to see your children or if you'll be attending that function without kids in tow. So what can you do to make split-family living better during the holidays?

Modern times have delivered to us the alternative family, including but not limited to ex-spouses, step-parents, and step-siblings. During the holiday season, children and families may experience confusion, distress, or tension.

For many, the picturesque holiday of families celebrating with food and gifts, with mom, dad, son, and daughter joined under one roof has been displaced. Today, over one-third of all marriages end in divorce as reported by the National Center for Health Statistics. Many children now celebrate their holidays under several different roofs and possibly with more than one mom or dad, creating the potential for the holidays to be difficult and stressful times for children and parents of divorce.

In addition to the typical holiday stress, often children of divorced families are under even more anxiety and grief. Often, the holidays are a time for reminiscing. Many children find it difficult to cope with memories of when their parents were together. Psychologists can help parents and their children create a season that reignites a sense of excitement, celebration, and joy.

Divorce is emotionally draining, especially during the holidays and special occasions. Divorced parents must communicate with even more diplomacy, patience, mutual understanding, respect, and tolerance than married couples planning holiday travel, dinners, reunions and gift-giving. Juggling schedules during marriage is hard, and it only gets harder after divorce.

Here are 10 tips for making sure everyone enjoys special occasions:

1. Plan Ahead

Develop a parenting schedule before the holidays.

Avoid scheduling the children for dinner with Dad at noon and a second turkey dinner a few hours later with Mom. Instead, arrange for Dad to spend the entire day with the children in all odd-numbered years, and have Mom spend the holiday with them in all even-numbered years.

2. Keep Your Word

Stick to the schedule. Arrive on time and drop off the children on time.

3. Keep in Touch

If the children are not with you for the holidays, call them, and be sure to send cards or email. Consider celebrating the holiday or birthday before or after the actual day. Children love parties and gifts any time - nothing fancy - but something special you create just for them.

4. Let the Children Keep in Touch

If the children spend the holiday with you, let them speak with the other parent. Give the children any cards and email from the other parent, and read the messages to young children who cannot read. If the children are too young to call, help them make or receive a call, and let them have a quiet moment to speak with the other parent. Make sure to avoid planning an exciting activity like gift-opening at the same time that the children are scheduled to speak with their Mom or Dad.

Remember, children usually have a short attention span, so do not blame the other parent if conversations are short.

5. Safe Travel

Make travel arrangements with airlines for long-distance travel. Airlines provide supervision for unaccompanied minors for a nominal fee.

6. The Art of Gift-Giving

Coordinate gift-giving with the other parent. Do not give your child a cell phone if you know Mom is giving her a phone. If your ex-spouse will not cooperate, go ahead with your own plans, but do not complain to the children about the other parent.

7. Acknowledge the Child's Right to Enjoyment

Let your child take gifts to your ex-spouse's home. Conversely, if your child brings home a new toy or bicycle, let your child take it back to her Dad's home, if she wants.

8. To Each His Own

Let the children spend Mother's Day with Mom and Father's Day with Dad.

9. Create Your Own Celebrations

Do not insist upon attending your child's birthday or graduation party if your ex-spouse is throwing the party. Give your own party on another day.

10. Give Your Child Permission to Love Both Parents

Help your child buy or make a gift and card for the other parent, if the child is too young to handle the tasks herself. You are doing your child a favor, not your ex-spouse, because you are giving your child permission to love the other parent - the best gift you can give.

When the holidays are over you may feel exhausted, let down, even depressed. It is typical to believe you feel this way because the holidays were disappointing to your family or kids. If that's the case, think about what could be done differently in the future. Also remember that this may be your body's way of telling you to take some time for yourself now and relax.

Children thrive in a predictable environment, where mealtimes, nap times, separating from a parent, and toileting are dealt with consistently. Try to create a nurturing, flexible, and positive environment where your children's needs are met through their daily routines. Daily routines provide wonderful opportunities for your child to learn more about herself, the world, and other people. Daily routines offer children a sense of stability and a feeling of caring from their parents. Be sure that these routines are responsive to the individual needs of each of your children

How do routines help a child?
The most important thing is routines help a child build confidence in themselves. When a child has a routine established and knows what is expected out of them and how long they have to get the job done it will help them to manage their time and behavior. Children thrive on pleasing their parents and work hard to do so.
Routines can include simple routines such as morning, after school, dinner, before bed to including such events as family time, house work, sports events, etc. Plan your week ahead of time and include appointments and other activities that don't interfere with your daily routines. When you have routines it not only benefits the children but the family as well, for there is less stress and everyone is prepared.
Here is a list of some daily routines for children and how children benefit from them.
Morning Routines:

• Mornings can be very hectic for everyone, but if you have your routine in place it will make it a lot easier on everyone to get their day off to a good start. How you feel in the morning usually lays the foundation for your day. If you wake to having to rush around to find clothes, book bags, etc. and rushing to get a little breakfast before being pushed out the door, you’re going to feel unhappy, aggravated and totally stressed. Feeling this way will make you feel angry and stressed, Not a good way to start your day.

After School Routines:

• This time can be set to give a child time to get a snack and refresh. After school routines could include snack and refresh time, chores, and an allowed time for homework. After school routines can help children understand how to manage their time.

Dinner Routines:

• Dinner routines are very important. This is the time of day when families can come together and discuss their day. This routine can help a child understand the importance of interacting with others and manners.

Before Bedtime Routines:

• This routine can include brushing your teeth, laying out clothes, book bags, etc., whatever you may need to start your next day, to reading a story together. Building a bedtime routine will help your child in learning how to be prepared and the importance of a good night’s rest.

Every Family is different, and should build routines that work for their family. Routines may be different for each family but they all still teach our children the same thing. That is, confidence and stability.
If you don't have a routine with your children and never tried one, take this challenge. Try setting one or two routines, such as morning and before bedtime and stick them for at least two weeks and see how different things will be. You will be less stressed and will be more apt to sharing some precious time with a precious child. You will also see a difference in your child, he/she will be more rested and prepared so this along will make them more confident in themselves.

• For working parents, one of the biggest decisions you’ll make is what child care option is best for your child
• Choosing a good quality child care center or provider and having confidence in your choice will give you peace of mind that money can’t buy
• Most child and adolescent mental health professionals recognize that the ideal environment for raising a child is in the home with parents and family
• Since this type of environment is often not available, the role of day care, especially in the first few years of life, needs to be considered

Important things to Look For in the Day Care Environment:

• Trained, experienced teachers who enjoy, understand and can lead children
• The same day care staff for a long period of time
• Opportunity for creative work, imaginative play and physical activities
• Space to move indoors and out
• Enough teachers and assistants – ideally, at least 1 for every 5 (or fewer) children
• Lots of drawing and coloring materials and toys, as well as equipment such as swings, wagons, jungle gyms, etc.
• Small rather than large groups if possible

Five Reasons to Feel Great About Child Care:

1) Children learn sharing, cooperation and problem solving at child care centers:

• Research shows that children who receive good, quality child care tend to be ahead of other children intellectually and developmentally

2) Working mothers spend the same amount of time in direct interaction with their children as full-time mothers:

• Employed mothers spend as much time reading to playing with their children as those at home, although they do not spend as much time simply in the same room or house with the children
• Studies have shown that working women do not sacrifice time with their children, they sacrifice their own sleep and leisure time

3) Children benefit from trusting relationships with more than one caregiver:

• Research has shown that babies with more than one attachment are less distressed when mothers leave for work, they are more playful and content in the presence of other adults, and are less distracted at the birth of a sibling

4) A parent-child relationship is not necessarily stronger if mom stays home:

• Research shows that children in child care show the same degree of attachment to their mothers and the same amount of security as children who stay home

5) If working makes you happier, you’re children will be happier:

• Working mothers who like their jobs have better personal adjustments, are happier, and are less depressed than full-time mothers, even those who prefer being home
• Depressed mothers have depressing effects on their children